GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.

MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

LEGACY, n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.

I think I think, therefore I think I am.