Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.
REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.
NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.