Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.

PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.

Twice – Once too often.

PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.

I was born to poor because of honest parents.