Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.

Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic

UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.

INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.

A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.