HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.

Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.

CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.

TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.