Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.