QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.

Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.