What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.

Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.

A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.

A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.