What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.

LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.

HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.