RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.

Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.