EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition. 'I was in the drawing-room, enjoying my dinner,' said Brillat-Savarin, beginning an anecdote. 'What!' interrupted Rochebriant; 'eating dinner in a drawing-room?' 'I must beg you to observe, monsieur,' explained the great gastronome, 'that I did not say I was eating my dinner, but enjoying it. I had dined an hour before.'

Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.

IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.

Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

A lottery is a tax on stupidity.