EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"

Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.

SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.

IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.

A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.