Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

The god of the world's leading religion.

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.