Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.

An aged Burgundy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.