Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.