Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .

Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.

Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.