Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.

The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself.

MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.