MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.

Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.