MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.

TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.