Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.

PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

Advice, the smallest current coin.

Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.