Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.

FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.