Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.

LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.

OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.

ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

When you doubt, abstain.