MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread "per capita" of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.

ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.