MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.

Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral.

Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.