LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate".

PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.

Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.

KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.

NOVEL, n. A short story padded.