PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.

LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.

Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.

ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.