Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.

CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.

Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.

If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.

RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.