POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.

OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.