It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?

I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.

Out of nowhere she tells me that Oliver Stone - you know, the director - she's like, 'He has this huge Asian fetish, and I find it totally offensive.' And I'm like, 'Why, Kwan? That sounds awesome.' She's like, 'I'm offended because I'm Asian.' And I was just like, 'Well, I'm sorry, but I didn't even notice that. I thought you were just really tired.

Comedy isn't really something where you get discovered. You can't network your way to being funny or talented. It's not hard to get seen if you're funny. If you're funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.

Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'

I hate false advertising, like 'Skittles: taste the rainbow.' No one's ever been like, 'Rainbow, right you guys?' Or what's Reese's? 'There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's.' Oh, really? Tell that to my uncle who used to put them in my underwear. Alright, maybe your uncles didn't love you.

The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.