I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.

I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.

I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.

I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.

When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth, or veins in their skin that are a little too visible, or a really dramatic lazy eye. The first guy I ever kissed had a water head.

Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.

I like working with the public, I like working with food, and I like making cash.