I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.

I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I'm picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the '50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays - the new stuff just looks too good.

I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.

I like people who would rather something be discovered than shoved in your face.

although it has been said that idle hands are the devil's workshop, when it comes to teenagers, both idle and active hands are the devil's workshop.

Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.

People always think I'm Amy Poehler, which never bothers me. I mean, Amy Poehler is great.