The whole world has changed, so you just stay current with the world. There's nothing different in my language of how I say things.

I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.

I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.

There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude towards delivering material.

You know, women are acting the way they want to act now. Years ago they would hide it in the way they dressed, the way they speak, even the way they act in bed. Today, they're doing the same thing, but they're dressing the way they want to be treated and, when you're with them, acting the way they want to act. And you know, honesty is the best policy. I love that.

I certainly don't walk around my home or being with my family and just using profane language all the time, but on stage, it's a constant.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!