There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance.

I like when something makes you think after you stop watching.

If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.

There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude towards delivering material.

When I did a sitcom and played a postman, I was brought to tears playing that postman, because I felt like one. I didn't grow up even wanting to be a post man. Now, I understand the meaning of the term "postal." I was bored to tears. And what was funny was that the producer actually looked like a bug.

I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she's okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.