I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance.

When I did a sitcom and played a postman, I was brought to tears playing that postman, because I felt like one. I didn't grow up even wanting to be a post man. Now, I understand the meaning of the term "postal." I was bored to tears. And what was funny was that the producer actually looked like a bug.

I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.

Being onstage and performing, the high of that, and people coming to see you, and getting to make them laugh - that's what gets me hyped up. It's a nervous excitement.

I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.

There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude towards delivering material.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!