I noticed whenever you call information, 411, there's always a computer voice, and they go, 'What number would you like? City and state, please.' 'Yeah, I'd like the number of Macy's in Century City, California.' 'Did you say 'pretzel nuggets'?
Andy KindlerAlexander Graham Bell was the first person to ever sarcastically say hello. Hellooo, I invented the telephone!
Andy KindlerThe saddest day in Pixar history was when some guy said 'get Larry the Cable Guy on the phone.
Andy KindlerI don't really know what's wrong with Jay Leno. I don't have the training to make a professional diagnosis.
Andy KindlerI noticed when I was driving around that they changed the name of the Interborough Parkway to the Jackie Robinson Parkway. And the Interborough family is very upset about this.
Andy KindlerRepublicans are just rich, old, white people - that's all they are. You ever see the Republican National Convention? All white people - six black people: paid actors. James Earl Jones in his most difficult, challenging role! Tune in and attempt to watch him look pleased during a George Bush speech. And Clarence Thomas - as himself.
Andy Kindler