I believe conspiracy theories are part of a larger conspiracy to distract us from the real conspiracy. String theory.

Ever since I've switched to the clean syringes, I've never felt better in my entire life.

Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.

Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.

George Lopez has to get a physical comedy checkup every year to make sure his bulging eyes don't get out of control... Good news George... you are humor free! There's no sign of comedy anywhere in your blood stream.

I love whenever they downgrade a hurricane to a tropical depression, because I always think of a tropical depression as how I feel three songs into a Jimmy Buffett concert.

Pixar has announced Larry the Cable Guy will be starring in Cars 3 thru 6. Howie Mandel will be playing his sidekick, Mopey the Moped.