Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

A writer's job is to tell the truth.

If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable