We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and read Shakespeare.

You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.

Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.

You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

Why am I an atheist? I ask you: Why is anybody not an atheist? Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated. I resent anyone pushing their religion on me. I don't push my atheism on anybody else. Live and let live. Not many people practice that when it comes to religion.