If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.

Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.

Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.

Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.

The last birthday that's any good is 23.