I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable

I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.

My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.

A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.

My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.

I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.