I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.

I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

Familiar things are a comfort to us all.