I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.

I know a lot of you believe that most people in the news business are liberal. Let me tell you, I know a lot of them, and they were almost evenly divided this time. Half of them liked Senator Kerry; the other half hated President Bush.

No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?". She doesn't care what you think.

I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.