The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.

I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off

There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?

One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.

If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.