We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.

Don't keep saying, "I don't know where the time goes." It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.

It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.

In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.

A writer's job is to tell the truth.

All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about.