We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.

It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.

New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.

Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.