My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.

Great teachers are usually a little crazy.

It's best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.

In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.

We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.

Where some people may see loving grandparents, I see a pair of feckless boobs who can't drive, take way too long to shop, and don't even have the most basic grasps on the new technology. As a staunch supporter of the principles of Darwinism, I think that advances in modern medicine are starting to overrule the survival of the fittest, and it's to our [youngers'] detriment.