You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.

A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.

Where some people may see loving grandparents, I see a pair of feckless boobs who can't drive, take way too long to shop, and don't even have the most basic grasps on the new technology. As a staunch supporter of the principles of Darwinism, I think that advances in modern medicine are starting to overrule the survival of the fittest, and it's to our [youngers'] detriment.

I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

The teacher who knows the most about a subject isn't necessarily the one who can teach it best.

Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.