There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.