Good mothers are underrated, just like good defense.

It seems like Satan has thrown the DH into our game.

Last year we had so many people coming in and out they didn't bother to sew their names on the backs of the uniforms. They just put them there with Velcro.

With the Cardinals everybody would be reading the business section to see what their stocks were doing. You get to this locker room (Pirates) in the morning and everybody is looking at the sports page to see if Hulk Hogan won.

He (Ozzie Smith) plays like he's on a mini-trampoline or wearing helium kangaroo shorts.

If everyone were like him (Mitch Williams) I wouldn't play. I'd find a safer way to make a living.

I have an Alka-Seltzer bat. You know-plop, plop, fizz, fizz, when the pitcher sees me walking up there he says, 'Oh, what a relief it is'.