Last year we had so many people coming in and out they didn't bother to sew their names on the backs of the uniforms. They just put them there with Velcro.

Who says there's an unemployment problem in this country? Just take the five percent unemployed and give them a baseball stat to follow.

It seems like Satan has thrown the DH into our game.

Last year we had so many people coming in and out they didn't bother to sew their names on the backs of the uniforms. They just put them there with Velcro.

The biggest adjustment from the minors was learning to spend $45 in meal money.

My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can't figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money.

I have an Alka-Seltzer bat. You know-plop, plop, fizz, fizz, when the pitcher sees me walking up there he says, 'Oh, what a relief it is'.