My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can't figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money.
I have an Alka-Seltzer bat. You know-plop, plop, fizz, fizz, when the pitcher sees me walking up there he says, 'Oh, what a relief it is'.
They wanted me to play third like Brooks so I did play like Brooks - Mel Brooks.
The game is full of peaks and valleys, the key is to avoid the Grand Canyon.
It seems like Satan has thrown the DH into our game.
If someone from Germany or somewhere, who had no idea what baseball was, saw Kruk play, he'd wonder what the beer truck driver was doing playing first base.