These days, even a moderate Democrat is someone who thinks you shouldn't be taught fisting until you're at least 12 years old.

They've hit us and we've got to hit back hard, and I'm not just talking about the terrorists.

Obviously, I'm a fan of satire. I'd debate anyone, but it would have to be the actual person. That would be my only hesitation about debating Stephen Colbert. If he were playing a character, it wouldn't really work.

When Minutemen leader Jim Gilchrist and his black colleague Marvin Stewart were invited by the College Republicans to speak at Columbia last year, the tolerant, free-speech-loving Columbia students violently attacked them, shutting down the speech.

If you want to find the cool, anti-establishment rebels who don't answer to The Man on college campuses today, you have to go to a meeting of the College Republicans. They are rebelling against at least 99 percent of their professors.

When a feminist as strident as Garofalo is defending the Hussein regime, you have to wonder if her newfound sobriety has hit a rough patch.

That is Obama's signature move: Invent people who are saying ridiculous things and then encourage the audience to laugh at these made-up buffoons.