I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing.

I wish my family had taken more pictures when I was growing up. Instead of always having to draw everything.

I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing.

I would never hit a woman - even if she had a knife or a stutter.

You look like you deep fry your hands before you bite your fingernails.

Do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it

I'm trying to teach my girlfriend how to surf. But I just end up yelling at her the whole time. Because I don't know how to surf.