Katey Sagal, you are an incredible actress. You worked on ‘Married with Children,’ the show that changed comedy, ‘Sons of Anarchy,’ the show that took comedy to a whole new level and ‘8 Simple Rules,’ the show that killed John Ritter.

I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about.

Child molesters must all think they've got huge dicks.

I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.

I think some people just don't know that much about comedy. It would be like a person who didn't know anything about football thinking all offensive linemen are the same.

I could see myself adopting a kid someday. But, obviously, I'd prefer it to be aborted.

I can't talk politics with my cousin because he's such a hypocrite. He's against the death penalty and he hanged himself.