It's impossible for me to hear the words quadruple murder suicide without thinking of my grandparents.

Yeah we're not together anymore. She has got - she has got a new boyfriend now. They just moved into together. And I've heard rumors that he is abusive, which makes you want to go over there with a baseball bat. And then blame it on her boyfriend.

My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby.

Mike Tyson, what can I say about you that hasn’t already been the title of a Richard Pryor album?

I don't ever want to have kids of my own. But I do want a lot of kids.

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.

People are surprised that I'm nice and it helps me out a little bit; it's easy to be nice when everyone thinks you're going to be a jerk but if people think you're a nice guy then it's tough because it's what they expect.