People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.

Stereotypes wouldn't be so bad if black people were nicer, in general.

About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. It's all anybody talked about for weeks. I said, 'Who cares? How many kids you know get to die a winner?

I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a while to get something, I don't mind that. If half the crowd gets the joke and the other half is sitting there scratching their heads, that's just as good for me if I like the joke, because I feel like it just brings people in more.

I grew up in a poor family. I had to cut everyone's hair, because we didn't have money for entertainment.

Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.

Silence means they [the audience] are paying attention. Even if I drop bombs and they're dead quiet, it's still okay. If they start talking, that's when you've lost them.