I had a migraine for about seven or eight straight days, and I was unable to sleep most nights.

My bedspread isn't washable. Since my bedding has to be washed every day, I'll have to throw it out.

I never have anything to talk about.

Orphans, dead parents, lonely children at Christmas, morose spoken word recordings, everything you love about the holidays. Move the turkey over so you can fit your head in the oven.

I wish you a tolerable Thursday. That's all any of us can hope for.

I remember lying down for a nap one day at about 4:00 and walking up at 11:00 the next morning.

I'd like to run for office someday, but I'm afraid my ability to spell might give me an unfair advantage.